My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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