it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
that is very illegal...i love you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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