i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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