i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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