Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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