I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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