i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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