I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
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so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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