aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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