I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize