Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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