I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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