Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
