I drank myself into bisexuality again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize