No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and she was petting her beer can
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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