we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
