we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
