dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
