New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
