There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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