Apparently you make a good broom.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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