no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
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His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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