He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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