I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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