Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I cut my penus on the lid.
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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