Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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