Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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