trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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