Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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