I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize