You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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