Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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