The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
