i barfeds in our rink
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
