My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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