OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
