Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
