i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
