Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
