Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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