well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
