While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
