Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
