we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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