It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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