Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
