Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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