susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
