Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.