it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.