The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
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in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.