She is in my trunk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
