I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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