Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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