it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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