so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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