Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
