Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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