What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
